So, today I went to Beaumont and I had a lovely fantastic time with all my friends. I really missed them so it was great to see them again. I made a flower necklace for Zachypoo and he looked just fabulous, lmao.  :S I wish I had pictures. :(

I am having a much better day today, and so we get a happy song.

I promise I'll post something meaningful again soon!

The Wreckers - Good Kind on imeem

Picture for today: Click this

That's it.

Yes, updates! After a WEEK. I know, I'm a terrible person. Anyway. There's no more songs of the week because I dun wants to get in any more trouble. :( But I'll post a link to something, promise. SO!

New layout, chat box thing, and a new agenda. Starting tomorrow there will be a picture a day. Even when I don't post there will be pictures taken and saved and I will post them when I decide to blog. Also, I will be posting about topics off of a blogging ideas list because I want to blog about something meaningful. I want to blog about something which requires me to slow down to think about it, and I want you to think about it as well.

I'll start all of that tomorrow though. Here's some stuff I made.

Avatars(email me if you want them)

I'm out!

Nighty night peeps!

PS: There IS a music player though. :)

I did my fair share. I did things I regret. Now that he's gone, I can think of hundreds of things I could have done, I could have said, to save this. I never said them. I lost this more than he did. The sad thing is there were so many things we could have done. In the end all I can do is look back and wish I had fixed it. I wish I had helped him, instead of telling him I was willing to leave if he couldn't fix things on his own. And I loved him so much. I love him now. But he's not there anymore, and so I must move on. I can't cry, no matter how much I want to. I can't lose sleep, even if I must force myself. I wish I could talk to someone about this, but I can't. Hence, I resort to the people I don't really know, the people I have known for a few years on the internet. They are my friends when I have no one else. I will cry to them and they will help me back on my feet. I will call the guy I've been best friends with for months and tell him I like him. No, he's not going to be perfect. No, he won't be the man I love. But then...the man I loved has been gone for a while. I just wish I had helped him get back to good.

"Oh, and it would hurt like hell." That's what I said to him. I made it sound so nice. He won't know how much of a failure I feel like. I will not read emails he sent me anymore. I will not remind myself, on purpose, of how good it could have been. The pictures, the stuffed animal, the cards...they will be boxed and stored away from me. I am miserable. I will not torture myself. He will move on, he will find someone so much better. And he deserves them. I will pretend to be okay, like I always do. And he would have known, if he heard my voice, that I was not okay. But he has not heard my voice since October. I haven't seen him move, seen him smile, since October. Emails and texts, fake pictures for everyone. I want to scream at him but he would never hear me.

I wish he did.

I have been in and out of communities, from RP-based to general topic. For a few years now I've tried building forums, joining forums, staffing forums, and I have watched most of them crash in a fiery ball of death and destruction. Because of staff? Yes. Members? Yep. General level of disinterest? Not usually. Do you want to know the main reason these places die? Disrespect, drama, and more backstabbing than a private, all-girls, high school. Now then, let's talk about this.

Well Kristin, what kind of drama? STUPID DRAMA. Seriously. Here's the conversation:

User 1: -expresses opinion-

User 2: OMG LIEK UR SO WRONG!!!11!11!!!!!1!

User 1: OMG LIEK NOE IM NAWT.

User 2: YEH U R.

User 1: OMGAWD IM LEAVING FOREVARZ.

User 3: STFU BOTH OF YOU.

Not even kidding okay? What else... Recently, I became active on a forum I had been visiting for about three years. I have seen this forum deteriorate from a respectable fan site to a downright drama llama hangout. It's ridiculous, some of the stories I've read. People say something stupid, apologize, get banned anyway, and we jump all over the staff. But the staff? Well God, you're all as bad as the members! You act as though you are God. Here's the thing. The bad members have made the good staff and members run off. You lose the good people, you're left with those who have a patience and those who are just plain rotten. Finally, those with patience die off and all of the new people who consider joining are very quickly shown how unfortunate your board is.

You know what? There are two types of people on forums these days. There are those of us who have been on for a while and who have grown up with the board. Then there are those who have been on for a while and still act like they are 11 and 12. Really? Some of these boards should NOT have the kind of drama I'm seeing. Fan sites? I'm not there to argue. I'm there to show you my drawings, graphics, music videos, fan-fiction, and Lord knows what else. I am not there to have a debate over whether or not everyone cares that you got offended because someone said purple is stupid. Oh, and the reason you're offended is because purple is your favorite color. Well guess what? If your feelings get hurt over colors, you maybe need to go and join the Mr. Roger's Neighborhood forum. Do any of you realize that you are killing your own boards? You hate it? Hate the people? Leave it. Don't complain all the time about it.

Look, I've done some pretty crappy stuff myself. I've caused havoc. I am hardly saying I'm innocent of stupid behavior. But am I the only one who thinks maybe we've gotten a little out of hand? Come on guys. Let's all grow up a little bit. Please?

In other news, I drew this. By the way, the recipe I gave you yesterday is absolutely AMAZING.

Sunday, Song of the Day: Space Between - Valencia

Gah. Night y'all.

OH. MY. GOD.

Okay. So I never ever do real life drawings and today I decided to do one. So I open up my photoshop. I find an image for reference. I start drawing. Oh it was so perfect. All the lines were good, the shadowing was done well. I worked on this for about an hour okay? Human, actually. I was REALLY trying. I started coloring it. It was looking so great! And then...I tried to change the color and...and...it died. And I didn't even get to do like a screenshot. The program closed and it took me a minute to process the fact that this amazing drawing(for me anyway) was no longer there. And being in the groove, I had not thought to save it every few minutes.

So I gave up for today. But isn't that a terrible sinking feeling? It doesn't matter what it is. Compositions, drawings, reports... You name it. If you've worked hard on it, forgot to save it every couple of minutes, and that program crashes... GAH. It's an awful feeling. That's when you breathe in the good Karma, and breathe out the bad. Sigh. I'm going to go and take out my anger on the grocery store. YAY cooking!

***************

A FEW HOURS LATER (lol):

Woo. So, I'm cooking tonight. I went to the store and picked up the stuff. I'll be cooking later on tonight. Anyway, here's the recipe for what I making(steaks with herb butter).

Unsalted butter, 3 tbsp, at room temperature

Fresh chives, 2 tbsp snipped

Fresh rosemary, 1 tbsp minced

Rib-eye steaks, 4, each about 1 inch (2.5 cm) thick

SERVES 4

1 Prepare the herb butter

In a small dish, stir together the butter, chives, rosemary, and a pinch of salt and pepper.

2 Cook the steaks

Meanwhile, prepare a gas or charcoal grill for direct-heat grilling over high heat and oil the grill rack. Or, preheat a broiler (grill). Season the steaks generously with salt and pepper, patting it firmly into the meat. Place the steaks on the grill rack, or put them on a baking sheet and place them under the broiler. Cook, turning once, for 6-8 minutes total for medium-rare, or until done to your liking. Divide the steaks among 4 plates, top with the herb butter, and serve.

- Recipe © Williams-Sonoma, Weeknight (Part of the 'Food Made Fast' cook book collection)

Anyway, I'm going to go and cook now. I'll post a critique tomorrow, lol. Other than all of that, here's what I've done today. I drew(1), I made a Twilight signature(no, I am NOT a fan), and I made Josh Groban Icons(1, 2, 3, 4, 5). Creativity. Woooo.

Saturday, Song of the Day: Do The Panic - Phantom Planet

Nighty night all.